FORGIVING – an Essay-----SBI PO

FORGIVING – an Essay

Forgiving is not only difficult, it is almost impossible as long as you think that someone is a culprit. But if you see that person, whomsoever you want to forgive, not as a culprit but as a victim of situations, a victim of ignorance, or just a postman to deliver what was due to you, you don’t need to forgive them. They just simply disappear from your domain.

When a postman has delivered you a parcel, that’s it, you don’t think about the postman. You are with the parcel, whether you like it or not. You do whatever you want to do with the parcel. This is exactly the attitude you should have.

As I said the other day, when you get a nasty email, you don’t bang or throw your computer or laptop because you’ve got a nasty email. Whatever email came, the laptop just reflects that. That’s all! Similarly, people are just like laptops. You don’t need to forgive them. You simply need to have a better understanding.

To learn how to forgive, you must first learn what forgiveness is not. Most of us hold at least some misconceptions about forgiveness. Here are some things that forgiving someone doesn't mean:

·        Forgiveness doesn't mean you are pardoning or excusing the other person's actions.

·        Forgiveness doesn't mean you need to tell the person that he or she is forgiven.

·        Forgiveness doesn't mean you shouldn't have any more feelings about the situation.

·        Forgiveness doesn't mean there is nothing further to work out in the relationship or that everything is okay now.

·        Forgiveness doesn't mean you should forget the incident ever happened.

·        Forgiveness doesn't mean you have to continue to include the person in your life.

·        ... and forgiveness isn't something you do for the other person.

By forgiving, you are accepting the reality of what happened and finding a way to live in a state of resolution with it. This can be a gradual process—and it doesn't necessarily have to include the person you are forgiving. Forgiveness isn't something you do for the person who wronged you; it's something you do for you

Forgiveness puts the final seal on what happened that hurt you. You will still remember what happened, but you will no longer be bound by it. Having worked through the feelings and learned what you need to do to strengthen your boundaries or get your needs met, you are better able to take care of yourself in the future. Forgiving the other person is a wonderful way to honor yourself. It affirms to the universe that you deserve to be happ

Source:

- Sri Sri Ravi Shankar on 18th July 2015 in Quebec, Canada

Also

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/mindful-anger/201409/how-do-you-forgive-even-when-it-feels-impossible-part-1