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How Do We Build Positive Self-Esteem?

If you want to build positive self-esteem quickly, one of the fastest ways is to do something for others who cannot repay you in cash or kind.

 This one phrase, "It is my life, I will do what I want," has done more damage than good. People choose to ignore the spirit and derive the meaning that is convenient to them. Such people have tied this phrase to selfishness and I'm sure that was not the intent.
These people forget that we don't live in isolation. What you do affects me and what I do affects you. We are connected. We have to realize that we are sharing this planet and we must learn to behave responsibly.
There are two kinds of people in this world--takers and givers. Takers eat well and givers sleep well. Givers have high self-esteem, a positive attitude, and they serve society. By serving society, I do not mean a run-of-the-­mill pseudo leader-turned-politician who serves himself by pretending to serve others.
As human beings, we all have the need to receive and take. But a healthy personality with high self-esteem is one that not only has its need to take but also to give.

Step 6: Stay Away from Negative Influences

Today's teenagers learn from adult behavior and the media. They face peer pressure. Peer pressure is not just limited to teenagers, it is also prevalent in adults. It shows a lack of self-esteem when people do not have the courage to say "No, thank you," and stay away from negative influences: What are the negative influences?

1. Negative People

If you want to soar like an eagle, you have to learn the ways of an eagle. If you associate with achievers, you will become one. If you associate with thinkers, you will become one. If you associate with givers, you will become one. If you associate with complainers, you will become one.
Whenever people succeed in life, petty people will take cracks at them and try to pull them down. When you refuse to fight petty people, you win. In martial arts, they teach that when someone takes a crack at you, instead of blocking you should step away. Why? Even to block you require energy. Why not use it more productively? Similarly, in order to fight petty people, you have to come down to their level. This is what they want, because now you are one of them.
Don't let negative people drag you down.
Remember, a person's character is not only judged by the company he or she keeps but also by the company he or she avoids.

4. Negative Movies and Television Programs

Today's kids are learning their attitudes and values more from television and movies than from anywhere else. It is estimated that in the United States, by the time a youngster gets out of high school, he has watched more than 20,000 hours of television, witnessed 15,000 murders, and watched 100,000 alcohol-related commercials.*
They convey the message that drinking is fun, smoking is glamorous, and drugs are the "in" thing. No wonder the crime rate is so high!
Soap operas glamorize premarital and extramarital sex. No wonder commitments are lacking in relationships and divorce rates are high. Impressionable viewers set their standards and benchmarks based on what they see and hear in the media. And no matter who it is, we are all impressionable to varying degrees.

Step 7: Learn to Like the Things That Need to be Done

Some things need to be done whether we like them or not; for example, mothers caring for their young. They may not be fun and games, and may even be painful. But if we learn to like the task, the impossible becomes possible.

Start by doing what is necessary, then what is possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible.

--St. Francis of Assisi

Step 8: Start Your Day with a Positive

Read or listen to something positive first thing in the morning. After a good night's sleep we are relaxed and our subconscious is receptive. It sets the tone for the day, and puts us in the right frame of mind to make every day a positive day. In order to bring about change, we
need to make a conscious effort Andre committed to make positive thoughts and behavior part of our lives. Practice having positive thoughts and behavior daily until they become a habit.
William James of Harvard University said, "If you are going to change your life, you need to start immediately and do it flamboyantly."

* As mentioned in Jerry Johnson's book It's Killing Our Kids, p. xvi.


¨ The Winner is always part of the answer;
      The Loser is always part of the problem.

¨ The Winner always has a program;
      The Loser always has an excuse.

¨ The Winner says, "Let me do it for you";
      The Loser says, "That is not my job."

¨ The Winner sees an answer for every problem;
      The Loser sees a problem for every answer.

¨ The Winner says, "It may be difficult but it is possible";
      The Loser says, "It may be possible but it is too difficult."

¨ When a Winner makes a mistake, he says, "I was wrong";
      When a Loser makes a mistake, he says, "It wasn't my fault."

¨ A Winner makes commitments;
     A Loser makes promises.

¨ Winners have dreams;
      Losers have schemes.

¨ Winners say, "I must do something";
      Losers say, "Something must be done."

¨ Winners are a part of the team;
      Losers are apart from the team.

¨ Winners see the gain;
      Losers see the pain.

¨ Winners see possibilities;
      Losers see problems.

¨ Winners believe in win-win;
      Losers believe for them to win someone has to lose.

¨ Winners see the potential;
      Losers see the past.

¨ Winners are like a thermostat;
      Losers are like thermometers.

¨ Winners choose what they say;
      Losers say what they choose.
¨ Winners use hard arguments but soft words;
     Losers use soft arguments but hard words.

¨ Winners stand firm on values but compromise on petty things;
      Losers stand firm on petty things but compromise on values.

¨ Winners follow the philosophy of empathy: "Don't do to others what you would not want them to do to you";
      Losers follow the philosophy, "Do it to others before they do it to you."

¨ Winners make it happen;
      Losers let it happen.

¨ Winners plan and prepare to win.
      The key word is preparation.


Thanks for "You can Win"  by Mr. Shiv Khera, eminent writer.

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